Amy Venezia

 

Have I lost my mind? Maybe.

 

365 day challenge to write.

 

 Every day… no matter what.

 

I think it comes at the perfect time in my life.

 

Right when I thought I was figuring out some things, I find I have nothing figured out… at all.

 

I love that about the process of life.

 

Like pulling a thread that starts to unravel a sweater…you sit with a giant thread ball in your hands that used to be that sweater, and right when you think that is it…abracadabra! There is a new sweater in your hands with a piece of thread hanging down…the Universe knows that human nature is to pull on that piece of thread…even when you know it will start the unraveling.

 

That is how I see each phase and lesson placed in my hands…like a favorite sweater I just know is eventually going to unravel one day.

 

I used to fight that.

 

Not anymore. I welcome it. Once I realized that there would always be a new sweater to replace the old one:). That it was inevitable; the path that I have chosen. Not to sit still and just be, but to constantly move towards a better version of me. No matter how many mistakes I make in the process.

 

So tell me…what is the “favorite sweater” you have in your hands right now? The one that you have begun to pull the thread as you watch it come undone?

 

Right now, mine is my beliefs about romantic love. More so, my beliefs and understanding of the dynamics of how a man is made and a woman is made in relation to romantic love.

 

My story about it…my habitual ways of thinking and expectations… the unhealthy things that for lack of better words, get me off. Because they confirm the original belief I am holding on to. A belief that most likely blocks my progress or changing what I am creating…even when what I am creating brings me no fulfillment at all.

 

The type of man I am attracted to. The type of man I am not attracted to,  and why?

 

That is the “sweater” in my hands right now.

 

Would love to hear about yours…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 19…

 

People are acting strange today.

 

Ever have one of those days?

 

Where either, you are the sensitive one picking up on everyone’s neurosis…or, it is a full moon and people are just acting crazy.

 

It has been one of those days for me and I have just sat there trying to maintain balance on my little island of Amy…while everyone else does there thing.

 

In these days we are living in, it is becoming harder and harder to maintain a sense of balance. Most of the people around me self medicate to achieve that sense.

 

I don’t want to go through life numb. Or, treating life like a litter box…you have all the crap but, are covering it up…well, guess what? It is still crap and it isn’t going anywhere…unless you clean it out.

 

Covering it up doesn’t clean it out.

 

Same with life.

 

You have to make the decision to remove it. That is what I have fallen in love with when it comes to life.

 

I am in love with free will.

 

The freedom to choose, hey… I don’t want you or this in my life.  

 

I don’t want to be a spectator, watching as things enter my life…stay and camp out in my life…like squatters… all the while, I just sit there…smoking up or boozing up or sexing up…while those “things” remain.

 

No. That is not how I will live my life.

 

I want to experience it head on. Look it dead in the eye. Love myself enough to make a choice. Live with that choice….and,

 

Choose again.

 

Brings a whole new meaning to Choose life.

 

 Life is not meant to be a kitty litter cover up. Life is a process of constant movement and change. It takes guts to live every day wide open…

 

That is what I realized today in watching those around me…

 

Choose your own life. Choose to have eyes wide open. Then a mind wide open …which leads to a heart wide open.

 

Those are my thoughts today…day 19.

 

Random Amy thoughts:)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Going out has become a social experiment for me. Not only do I always gain a new reader or two…but, I also end up playing psychologist. Literally, the conversation will turn from the guy initially thinking he is going to hit on me, to him lying on my little invisible futon and….contrary to what women believe…talking about his feelings.

 

Don’t know why that is…but, it does make me love what I do all the more.

 

Men want to talk. They do.

 

If I could sum up in one sentence the advice I would give to a woman wanting a successful and honest relationship I would say, “Think like a wife…act like a mistress.”

 

Let me say that again…

 

THINK LIKE A WIFE… ACT LIKE A MISTRESS.

 

Just like the basic traits of a man will not change, neither will a woman’s.

 

Women will always know what a man is saying even when he is saying nothing at all. Women will always see through the BS. Women will always have the inclination to mother their man. Women will always want to assume…

 

So, I say keep thinking that way…don’t fight it. But, what you can do is from the thought forming in your mind to the time it takes to put that thought into a sentence, an accusation, an assumption…. Think WWMD!

 

WWMD…what would mistress do?

 

Mistress would listen. Mistress would not force a conversation. Mistress would keep it light hearted. Mistress would choose affection over confrontation. Mistress would allow the man to think for himself. Mistress would allow him to talk about it when he is good and ready, if never. Mistress would not interrupt. Mistress would create a safe space he wants to run to when he gets stressed…confused…or just needs to be himself without being pulled in a million different directions.

 

Now, I can hear it as I type this…

 

But, ladies, centuries and centuries of hitting a brick wall; in case you haven’t figured it out…you aren’t going to change a man. It is like looking at a pig and spending your days convinced if you try a little harder, nag a little longer, guilt a little stronger that pig will become a unicorn.

 

I tell you what does expand a man’s consciousness. What is like super growth to a man’s evolution…being a whole female…the way you are intended to be. A container…

 

Picture it this way, you are a container and your man is water…he feels safe enough to pour himself into you…now, if you will just be whole…just be beautiful woman energy you will help direct the flow of where that man goes because it is in your walls that he is contained…but, if you force and squeeze and suffocate and push…just like water that man will literally escape from your container.

 

Go ahead and have it all figured out…we are smart that way:). Go ahead and have your opinion, I agree that it is probably correct…go ahead and have those desires for something more from him…think like a wife-

 

But, when you deliver what it is you are wanting from him…

 

WWMD.

 

That is all I am saying. Trust me, you will see results. It is not manipulation. It is becoming closer to the truth of who you are and want to be in the first place. No woman feels good having to belittle her man into submission to her wants and needs. Yet, women do it every day.

 

With ZERO results. In fact, the exact opposite results of what they are wanting.

 

Think like a wife but, act like a mistress.

 

I think I have my next book…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why am I so hard on women? I got a comment from a reader feeling I woman bash at times…I appreciate her honesty.

 

My response? I am harder on women because I am one. I can’t speak for men…it is impossible to have a true outlook on why they do what they do because I am not one…obviously:).

 

Woman basher. Now, that is a new one for me!

 

Even so, I will try and explain where I am coming from.

 

As a woman, I have fought hard to take the heartbreaks and lessons life has presented to me and use them to help me take 100% responsibility for my own life.

 

I am the owner of my body; I am the author of my story. I am learning to trust my instinct and actually listen…which, is the greatest challenge for a woman.

 

We all speak of equality and rights- yet, we still try to live from a, “wounded, weaker mentality” when faced with relationship dynamics with men. It is a complete contradiction and widens the gap between where we are and where we desire to be.

 

We do this to ourselves- not men. Not society. We blindly bring it on ourselves without awareness or consciousness.

 

Women expect men to be upfront and honest with them yet, a majority of women are not even honest with themselves about the true make up of a man. And, even if they are honest enough to acknowledge the differences- most women judge men and their differences and every single thing they do is from a strategic positioning of trying to change them.

 

I will even go as far to say that the only way some women feel safe in intimate relationships with men is if their man in some way “mimics” the emotional and moral make up of a woman.

 

It is the Cinderella syndrome…and in order to perpetuate it, we project onto men the image of what we need for them to be in order to sustain the “safety”. As a result, women tend to read into words and actions, believe words over actions and assume whatever it takes to support the imaginary image…and men, will spoon feed us this because they have found it works-anything to avoid conflict and criticism- the two ugly “C” words that are like Kryptonite to men.

 

There has been a gross imbalance for centuries and centuries of women denying their own needs to fulfill a man’s needs and of women looking to men to fulfill those needs.

It is repression and projection and the basis of dysfunction in the modern world today. It is an endless treadmill of each person in the relationship having to so delicately play their part and keep up the charade as not to disrupt the flow of “conditional” love that we convince ourselves is unconditional.

 

I, for one, believe it is time for us ladies to listen to the men around us. Because they are simply mirroring back to us how much we are willing to betray ourselves.

 

All deception begins with self deception.

 

Self deception always precedes the belief of a lie.

 

They key is for women to stop looking to the outside and start going within for their needs. Because, in order to meet your needs you have to be honest with yourself and, when you start being honest with yourself… you start attracting honesty in your life.

 

Why am I so hard on women? It is actually a compliment. I believe women have the power to heal the rift between men and women; by starting with themselves.

 

But, at some point the blame game has to stop. There is no use in pointing the finger at anyone else when the power lies within you. We can choose how to handle things, how to let it affect us, who to stay with, what to put up with, what to believe, how to communicate, how to love and how to be loved.

 

I call it speaking MENGLISH  Drop your judgments and you just might see something of beauty in the differences between men and women. Work on yourself and you will find quality men are all that surround you.

 

 

 

As Emeril would say, BAM!! There you have it!

 

 

 

I think I realize why 90% of society walks around practicing the art of deceit.

 

Self deception; when it comes to love; when it comes to intimacy; when it comes to the opposite sex and the pursuit of attraction.

 

Do any of us really want to know the truth?

 

I mean, REALLY?

 

I sat with one of my good friends last night as he talked to me about the nature of some men.

 

He was talking about himself at first and then turned it on me and what I thought about men.

 

He quizzed me as to what I believed the language of men…MENGLISH is what I call it…translates to.

 

I am pretty good at understanding men…better than most women.

 

However, what I have laser vision for seeing in other people’s situations…I sometimes fail to see when it involves me.

 

This little sabatager sits on my shoulder, whispering excuses into my ear that I eat up like candy, in order to keep what ever it is I want to happen jacked up on the adrenaline of “hope”.

 

My friend was pretty open with me…

 

  

He told me I am intimidating….”very intimidating” were his exact words.

 

I don’t get that. Yet, he is about the tenth of my guy friends to say so.

 

I am the most approachable woman on the planet, in my opinion. But I am starting to see there are opposing opinions to mine…

 

I asked him to explain himself…

 

“Well, for starters, you are always out with us…your guy friends…you automatically put up a barrier there.”

 

Well, duh!! I go out to have fun. Not to be picked up.

 

I am a woman! I could get action walking into a 7-11. It comes easy for us.

 

So, yeah, I like the buffer my male friends provide for me. Like my own personal booty guards.

 

He went on to tell me what I do for a living is intimidating.

 

Yawn…I am so tired of hearing this.

 

So… where it gets interesting is when he began to explain how guys think.

 

Some guys want options. A pot on every burner…

 

 

I get that; especially in the world we live in today. Doesn’t bother me.

 

So when that guy is checking you out or there is attraction there, sometimes it can’t be read into anything other than you are there….in the room…maybe one of the top 5 or 10 of the options to check out at the moment.

 

You are a piece of parsley to his plate.

 

You are appealing…eye candy.

 

Not the ribeye.

 

Harsh, yet true.

 

And sometimes you are the ribeye…just depends.

 

That was not new news to me. And I have never been a person that meets people at bars; ever…so this doesn’t shock me.

 

But it does explain that depending on the level of work it will take to get the fire started…well, that is what determines if sparks fly with a guy or not.

 

Come on baby light my fire…

 

Easy; and like water, will take the path of least resistance.

 

So, in comparison, guys wanna use a lighter…not sitting there rubbing two sticks of wood together like a cricket serenading a campfire.

 

Totally get that.

 

Then he said the mother of all truths to me…

  

“Amy, when a man wants something, there is absolutely nothing that will stop him from going after it. NOTHING.”

 

“But, what if….but, what if…but, what if….”- my little attempt at arguing against an absolute truth.

 

There is no but.

 

There is no level of intimidation, no level of shyness, no level of maybe you are unavailable, no level of fear of rejection…nothing that will stop a man from going after what he truly wants.

 

Any other belief is simply delusion.

 

And yeah, delusion helps keep hope afloat…but who wants to stay afloat in an endless sea of self imposed disappointments?

  

Men don’t play hard to get.

 

Men get.

  

In this day and age we are living in, lines are blurred.

 

Women, more aggressive.

 

Men, more lazy because of it.

 

But when it is magic….well, that is when you get to see that beauty of what makes men, men.

 

That male aspect that lays women flat…literally…

 

The conqueror.

 

If more women would realize they are worth the time and effort for a man to come to them, they would weed out the mediocre connections.

 

They would wait for the man who can’t help but step up to the plate…because everything in him wants to get in the game.

 

Not be a spectator.

 

 I understand that it is not that simple…that there are too many factors involved when it comes to human connections. It isn’t something that can be logically figured out and it never will be. 

 

 

But sometimes it is a good thing to get other perspectives. Even though those perspectives can’t possibly apply to every person or situation. 

 

Keep it simple…it doesn’t have to get that complicated~

 

 

Besides, if we could figure out what baffles us about the opposite sex it wouldn’t be nearly as fun;)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The TEN things I LOVE on this FRIDAY!

 

 

 

1. Watching the snow fall while in my bed writing this…

 

 

 

 

2. That the threat of being snowed in for some reason gave me the excuse to buy bacon… I hardly ever eat bacon~ but looking forward to a yummy bacon and egg sandwichJ

 

 

 

 

3. How life gives you the opportunity to run into someone who really did you some damage in a hurtful way a long time ago- and yet you find you just feel love for them. That is a really cool feeling.

 

 

 

 

 

4. Wearing my hair in pigtails…it just makes me feel five again.

 

 

 

 

 

5. When I look up and see a man for the first time…and with that one look from him, he reminds me in all the right ways that I am all womanJ

 

 

 

 

 

6. Sea salt and vinegar chips…

 

 

 

 

7. Watching the people in our country step up and help Haiti, even in our financial state right now…

 

 

 

 

 

8. Laughing so hard my cheeks hurt…

 

 

 

 

 

9. Pandora radio…

 

 

 

 

10. That the snow day today has given me the opportunity to stay at home and finish writing this new bookJ No excuses…

 

 

 

 

Happy Friday!!

 

 

The TEN things I LOVE on this FRIDAY!

 

 

 

 

1. How I got behind a giant, jacked up truck this week- only to see a fake pair of balls hanging from the dude’s trailer hitch. I don’t know if you have ever seen that before? But, even though traffic was bad and I was stuck behind him for what seemed like an eternity? Every time those babies swung back and forth, I cracked up…very much needed that.

 

2. Sitting on the glass at a hockey game- no other way to watch it than that.

 

3. Watching snow fall while lying in my warm bed. A very peaceful feeling…

 

4. My friends, I love my friends this Friday- thankful to have such inspiring and giving people in my life.

 

5. Men… I love men. I have such a support system around me of men that love me, encourage me, protect me…and I totally believe it is for that fact alone. That I love them, for all the differences and brilliance.

 

6. I love what I do. I love hearing from the people who take the time to read my thoughts…everyday I am humbled in the outreach and connections that I make. I love the written word- Love it like a LOVERJ

 

7. Living downtown…I love feeling the pulse of a city.

 

8. Soul connections. Those rare times in life when I lay eyes on a person and something very deep inside just knows…this is a person who is going to move me…something very deep just knows in that one moment, there is no turning back- those people who stir your soul and help you discover that pain and beauty can be felt in the exact same moment- and so you learn that like a two sided coin, they really are one in the same. Those people that forever alter how you were living life and what you believed in before they crossed your path…I love those people.

 

9. The scent of my skin when I get out of the shower…so I guess I love my soapJ

 

10.  Romance- today I love and celebrate romance in my life.

 

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Another year-

 

Another year flown by.  

 

Packed with learning, growing, laughter, pain, healed relationships, broken relationships, creations, disappointments and successes.

 

New Years Eve has always been my favorite holiday.

 

I spend it different than most.

 

Alone.

 

By choice.

 

When I was not a struggling writerJ, I would book a hotel room…order room service and champagne…make myself a hot bath~ and truly examine the year passed and what I want to create in the year to come.

 

I take the time to visualize my New Year- which to me is the most important part of New Years Eve and Day.

 

Oh… I miss those daysJ

 

But I can do the same with out the pampering this year.

 

I never really got getting so hammered at a party that you wake up on the first day of the New Year already having to account for lost moments and brain cells.

 

I went out this weekend for the first time in a long time. I am glad I did.

 

It was a good reminder.

 

I met friends out that I have known for over a decade. One friend who was trying to get in my pants then and ten years later? Still trying…

 

I sat there drinking my gin with St. Germain…

 

Thinking how some things don’t change. How did I find myself, over a decade later, having the same conversation?

 

I have come to look at people in my life as lessons.

 

Always presenting lessons.

 

Nothing happened between us ten years ago, and nothing happened between us this weekend- just the normal flirting and fun conversation.

 

But still, I have to look at the place in which I find myself.

 

Having to not only make that decision, but having to explain that decision to someone who doesn’t want to listen to standards or reasons…

 

There is this part of me that wants to throw out my stilettos and flirtations – and go on some kind of global trip where I don’t  wear a speck of makeup or have to say no to anyone because I am not being asked for anything. I am only serving and giving and learning.

 

I am tired of assumptions I suppose.

 

I am social, connected and flirtatious. I am sensual. I love to dress up and look feminine.

 

I like conversation and laughter. Good food, good wine, good music, dancing…

 

But I have standards. And I have discipline and convictions.

 

And at this point in my life, where I am single by choice and enjoying my solitude and personal growth, I just don’t want to keep attracting men that want something I am not offering.

 

Although, I am deep enough to take responsibility for what I am attracting in my life.

 

 

Seems to be two extremes in the single world-

 

Either, not getting hit on at all and feeling lonely and borderline desperate~

 

Or getting hit on a lot, by men who haven’t taken the time to notice that you aren’t even on the playing field.

 

It is an interesting time in the world to be single- with so many changes on the relationship dynamic home front…

 

Changes in the dynamics between men and women.

 

Just me thinking out loud as the New Year approaches…life is such an adventure and fun if you make it that way. Even the lessons…

How will you spend your New Years? And how closely will you look at your life over the year and make the choice for change?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last night it hit me-

 

 

 

In the midst of painting my nails and doing my hair-

 

 

As I sat in my cozy, little condo apartment…

 

 

 I was blankly staring into the refrigerator trying to come up with one little opinion or desire as to what might sound good for dinner-

 

 

 

 And that is when it hit me. I have become aTweener- 

 

 

You won’t find Tweener with google- at least not in the way I mean it.

A Tweener is a single who is in “between”-

Still young enough to be considered a “trophy” to the older generation and getting close to old enough to be eligible for the “cougar” category for the younger generation.

I moved on to the cabinets- blankly staring- recollecting the day’s events.

Earlier in the day I had been writing- at Starbucks- when this kid,

(You know you are getting old when you refer to a college student as “a kid”),

Anyway, this guy kept looking at me- I finally looked up and he gave this  sexy, little smile.

I didn’t know what to do- I think I blushed- for the first time in a long time. Not so much at his good looks or blatant confidence in flirting- but at the fact that I would lay down money that he wasn’t even of drinking age yet-

I fixed my eyes on my computer screen trying not to notice that he would not take his eyes off of me.

Finally he asks me a question- I had to take my headphones off so I could hear him-

“So, do you wear those headphones to keep guys like me from talking to you?”- He asks.

“No, I am actually listening to music…”- I respond- trying to sound professional or maybe motherly-

 

 

Anything but flirtatious.

He sat staring-

“I see you in here a lot-  always working hard- what are you working on?” he asks.

 

 

“I am working on editing a book and material for my website … so I am writing.” – I reply.

 

 

“Do you want to take a break and have lunch with me?”- he asks.

OK- I have to stop this now, I thought to myself.

 

 

Before I feel like I need to go to confession… and I am not even Catholic.

“How old are you?”- I ask him.

 

 

“How old do you think I am?”- He responds with a smile.

 

 

“Young enough to answer a question with a question.”- I reply dryly.

 

 

That got a smile out of him.

“I’m 19”- He says…” Why, is that an issue?”

I started laughing…as I replied, “ Uh, yeah… about a 16 year issue.”

He didn’t flinch…

“Look, you are very cute and seem to be a very nice guy, but I need to get back to writing and you need to get to someone from your decade.”- – I replied as I put my headphones back on.

 

 

He smiled and gave a little nod- got up and left.

So- last night as I sat and picked a bag of popcorn out of the pantry-

That is when it all became clear to  me-

I am a tweener single.

I can’t remember the last time a man my age actually approached me-

Fifty somethings- yes!

Forty somethings- yes!

19 year olds- yes!

Twenty somethings? Yes!

Hell, I have even had 70 somethings hit on me…

But a man- my age? a few…

I am lost- floating somewhere in between the older, mature man who wants a younger, mature woman-

And college kids who think I am borderline Cougar material…

I put my popcorn in the microwave and put a movie in…

Foreign…

I have been watching so many movies with subtitles lately that I was half way through an American one last time before I realized I had subtitles on…

I sat in my bed- freshly painted nails- eating popcorn for dinner-

When I realized…

I needed intervention-

I called my best friend in Florida-

“Hi my love”- she answered with her usually cheery, yet kinda  groggy voice.

 

 

“Am I calling too late?”- I asked her since she is one hour later.

 

 

“No, I was kind of asleep… but not really.”- She replied.

 

 

I kept it short-

“Love, if in the next year I get a cat- I want you to shoot me.” I said to her…

 

 

There! To the point.

She laughed out loud…I sat silent.

“Is that it?” – She asked, still laughing.

 

 

“Yep, that’s it. Go back to sleep…”

I hung up the phone and felt a little better.

I may not be able to change the tweener stage I am in right now.

 

But I can bring in the big guns to keep from going full out -stereotypical SINGLE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was invited to a party.

 

 

I walked through the door of the penthouse with a half feeling of dread, rising to the surface from the boiling pot of presumption and stereotypical thoughts swirling around in my mind.

 

 

My best friend looked at me and said , “ Uh, I think we are in pre-baby boomer land.”

 

 

I swallowed and replied back, “Pre- baby boomer my ass. We are in the land of Pre-nupers!”

 

 

20 something’s that are living off of trust funds in multi million dollar penthouses where the paintings on the walls are enough to make a mature art collector salivate- yet the owner is on the couch showing off his highest score on the latest video games- not the art collection.

 

 

I walked out on the balcony and just did what I do best…

 

 

I observed the sea of people before me.

 

 

I watched as the 20 something girls, who strangely enough all in some way resembled each other. Even though there were blonde’s(mostly), red heads and brunettes.

 

 

I watched these girls with there thousands of dollars of accessories and their hair tossing and their spray on tans…

 

 

I looked at the handbags and the shoes and the designer clothing-

 

 

And I thought to myself, what does this remind me of?

 

 

I was not being judgmental, only taking an honest observation of the scene I found myself in. I like my handbags, shoes and accessories too.

 

These girls had everything you could possibly need to be “hot” or be the center of attention. Minus one attribute.

 

 

Mystery.

 

 

Not one of them had that mystique that captures men and stops them in their tracks.

 

 

Not one of them had the perfume of intrigue that you can pick up from across the room on a sensuous woman.

 

 

I pointed that out to my friend. She agreed.

 

 

Again I asked myself what does this remind me of?

 

 

The handbags and shoes and jewelry and dresses?

 

 

And then it came to me-

 

 

Kitty litter.

 

 

Yep.  That is what came to me.

 

 

Kitty litter.

 

 

A cat can do its business and sit there over and over making sure that mess gets covered up.

 

 

 

But after all its hard work and underneath all the litter?

 

 

MESS is still there.

 

 

Kind of like the handbags. You can dress yourself up with the best, work really hard to make sure it is all “covered” up-

 

 

But underneath it is still a MESS.

 

 

My friend and I laughed at these young guys, realizing that they probably wouldn’t even know what to do with themselves outside of this “litter box”.

 

 

I decided to do a little test and told my friend, “Let’s try something. I am going to pick a guy and make eye contact with him. I am going to hold his gaze, unapologetically. I am going to stop his conversation in mid-sentence- I am going to make him blush like a little girlJ.”

 

 

She laughed and was up for the experiement.

 

 

We stood, backs against the counter when I spotted my contestant.

 

 

He was in a conversation with a couple of people, facing me.

 

 

I looked at him, he looked up at me- I did not look away. I did not smile. My lips slightly parted, I just stared.

 

 

My friend had to turn around to keep from laughing,  because he literally lost it. He couldn’t complete his sentence. Lost all concentration. Became so nervous he started fidgeting with his shirt and his pockets. Like a little school boy.

 

 

My best friend whispered under her breath, “Wow, that is amazing. It is like he has never seen a woman before.”

 

 

Yet, he was in a room full of them. 

 

Sensuality is a missing chip in a lot of the girls I witness today. That art form that old Hollywood portrayed so well.

Sensuality is not cheap or easy. It is wealth and an inner richness a woman possessess.

It is not contrived-

 

 

It is mystery and intrigue in its finest.

 

 

 

Inner confidence that has nothing to do with materialism or the strive for perfection.

 

 

The modern day Geisha. That can hold a man’s gaze and make him weak. That can carry on any conversation with knowledge and wit. That has mastered world knowledge and the arts. Multi dimensional like a kaleidoscope.

 

 

A Goddess.

 

 

And it comes from confidence of your whole nature. Knowing who you are and what you want.

 

Accepting yourself, the good and the not so good. Relying on more than the material for happiness and inner power or self assurance.

 

 

A woman, who when the lights go down, knows and loves herself all the more for it.

 

 

Not kitty litter cover up.

 

 

Or Prada and Jimmy ChooJ