Amy Venezia

 

I just watched Hot tub time machine.

 

If you haven’t seen it, do it.

 

Funny, especially if you grew up in the 80’s.

 

After the movie I made myself a cup of hot green tea. And, as I was standing there staring…waiting for the signs of boiling water, I looked up and noticed one of my cookbooks was upside down.

 

I am not sure if I noticed it because it was upside down or, because I am hungry and the back cover is like a ‘food porn’ shot of profiteroles….

 

Either way, I picked it up and began looking through it.

 

It was my Grandmother’s cookbook. She loved anything having to do with the French…her Great Grandfather came over to Savannah, Georgia from France.

 

I flipped through the pages finding notes she had written. She had the most beautiful penmanship. She was a writer in her own right. When she passed away, we found boxes of journals where she had written over the span of her lifetime…her thoughts. She would have been a blogger today:).

 

What I found odd is one of the only recipes she wrote down, Crème Cheese Crepes with Apricot Sauce, she dated July 8, in the top right hand corner. That is my Birthday…obviously, a few days from now.

 

I looked at the beautiful way she wrote her “j” in July…I stared thinking about how even when we are gone a part of us still lives…on an old sheet of paper…providing the steps for perfect Crème Cheese Crepes.

 

Maybe I am just emotional right now. Maybe, the last 15 days of taking the time to stop and listen to what I wanted to speak out…maybe, this has caused a flow of sorts.

 

But, I can’t help but think my Grandmother is here with me now as I write this post.

 

What would she have done differently in her life? That is what I would ask her.

 

Just like the Hot tub time machine…(I had to lighten it up a little)…

 

If given the chance to choose again, would we choose differently?

 

I did something some time ago, that to some…I am sure, will be a little out there.

 

But, I was praying one day…in bed…thinking of specific instances in life, over the years, that I really wanted to get past. To let go of. There were a few hurts with people that although, I had forgiven…still lingered around at times.

 

I thought to myself, what if I could go back to each one of these instances and relive them in my head, except this time, play it out in my mind the way I WISH it would have turned out. A kind of meditation…

 

So, I did just that. It helped me to get in touch with the disappointment, the hurt…everything I felt that I was just stuffing down in order to move on.

 

It isn’t that I necessarily gave some Pollyanna ending in my head…I just played what it would feel like to have a legitimate conversation with the person that set it all back to good.

 

Since then, three of those four circumstances have mended in ways that have shocked me.

 

One of them, I got an email out of the blue from the person.

 

The other, I ran into the person and they apologized.

 

The other, I got a phone call.

And the 4th? I really don’t care anymore…that is the beauty in the whole thing…it heals on a level in yourself…and, nothing else matters because the initial hurt dissolves. My little formula for forgiveness and moving foward in life.

 

I think that is what my Grandmother’s response would be to me right now. Don’t wait until it is too late…you have the power in yourself, to turn it all around, now.

 

Just let go of what you think and feel is the “reality” of the outcome…and give yourself permission to imagine a wildly different outcome. Who cares! It is done and over with anyway right?

 

Just imagine it the way you WISH it would have turned out. Then let it go.

 

In a way, you have gone back in your Hot tub time machine…and changed your feelings about it.

 

And, when your feelings change from negative to positive about a situation…you will be amazed at what can occur.

 

This is my doo-do-doo-do-doo-do-doo-do post of the 30 day challenge;)

 

Oh, and, I love you Grandmama…:)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I sat, full from eggrolls, fried rice and the Mongolian beef that was doing what Mongolians have been known to do in history lessons- invade, attack and conquer.

 

 

In this instance? My stomach…

 

 

As I waited to pay, I unwrapped my fortune cookie.

 

 

One little sentence…nothing cool like, “Great love is about to walk through your door.” Or, “Keep both eyes peeled for a mass fortune.”

 

 

No… it simply stated, “ Not all situations can be judged from appearance alone.”

 

 

Well, duh! Everyone knows that.

 

 

I ate a bit off the cookie, don’t like them, but was told somewhere that you should eat at least a piece of the cookie when you are given a fortune…so, being the slightly superstitious girl I am, I ate.

 

 

I got in my car and began to drive. And I decided to just open myself, as to why that message could present itself to me at the time.

 

 

 

I am like that. Most people don’t take things as messages- especially something as trivial as a fortune cookie.

 

 

But I do- I let messages come to me from the oddest of sources- or at least I am open to that.

 

 

For some reason my mind drifted to Matthew  McConaughey…

 

 

Not a bad place for it to drift if you get my drift…

 

 

I had been on the set of “Surfer Dude” in LA-

 

 

It was a movie Matthew did a couple years back that completely flopped- in fact, I think it went straight to DVD…

 

 

I was needing extra income, and a friend in publicity got me the gig for the day.

 

 

 

Anyway, the one day I was there- it was being filmed at a gigantic mansion in Malibu- right on the Pacific…stunning view. The home was a little to “Dr. building” feel for my taste.

 

 

 

But it had an amazing pool area- fit for the only kind of parties you will ever find in the elite LA circles.

 

 

It was a small amount of people on set that day. It was an all day shoot.

 

 

 

I sat there thinking, it is cool to be getting paid to spend the day in a mansion in Malibu- Matthew McConaughey less than 3 feet from me at all times…I could care less about “stars”, been around them my whole life and know the deal…but …

 

 

 

Mind you, shirt off for all the scenes… and that little southern drawl…if he were collecting trash on the side of the road I would have to look twice…I’m just sayin’.

 

 

 

He was smaller than I expected…had nice feet for a guy…yeah, I notice these things.

 

 

It was extremely windy that day- and the crew insisted that we all slather ourselves in sunscreen. Good idea being we were outside the whole time.

 

 

In between watching Matthew McConaughey do push ups between takes- I put my sunscreen on. Over and over…

 

 

And every two seconds, was having to push my hair out of my eyes, because of how windy it was.

 

 

And here is where it gets funny…

 

 

I noticed my eyes started burning. My left one in particular. I am blind as a bat and wear contacts, not colored ones. Ones so I can see my hand in front of me.

 

 

I just figured it was my contacts being aggravated by the wind.

 

 

As the day went by, I literally felt like I had shards of glass in my eyes.

 

 

Wasn’t till the end that I realized the SPF from my hands got on my hair the times I was pushing it back, which then smacked me over and over like a whip in my eyes, every time the wind blew.

 

 

They wrapped- and I went inside the mansion to get out of the whipping wind- while I waited for the transportation that would take me back to where our cars were parked.

 

 

 

 As I am sitting there, eyes watering and on fire- I look up to see Matthew walking straight towards me.

 

 

Now… the egotistical part of me automatically begins to think, “ Oh shit- I look like a bomb has blown up in my face- my eyes are swollen and on fire. For the love of Mary, Joseph and the Saints why?:)…”

 

 

And in slow motion, like a scene playing out in a movie. I look up as Matthew is looking straight at me. And I watch his face go from “ Hey!” to “ What the hell is wrong with this chick?”

 

 

He walked passed and the transportation pulled up.

 

 

I got in and a couple minutes passed while waiting to take off.

 

 

And to my amusement- I had a staff member open the door and ask me, “ Are you ok? Did you get upset about something. We notice you are crying. Is it because you aren’t on the list for scenes to come back tomorrow?”

 

 

I laughed out loud. And tried to explain to the woman with the headset on her head what had happened. She kind of looked me  with a “ yeah, yeah, yeah… I don’t have time for this.” And got out.

 

 

So to this day, I have no idea if that whole set thought I was crying like a school girl, or if she relayed the story to them about SPF and the fact that I was ready to claw my eyes out at that moment.

 

 

I went home. Took out my contacts and put a cold compress on my swollen eyes for the remainder of the night.

 

 

So yeah, that is an instance that came to me when thinking about how you can’t judge a situation from appearance alone.

 

 

I started to think- how many times have I judged a person or a situation off of my own limited, little perception? When 99% of the perception might be unknown or  not shown in my line of view?

 

 

On this Friday, can you think of any instances where you have done the same? Or the same has been done to you?

 

 

Then, if you can recall, as I have- can we all give each other a break? And choose to be open to seeing a person or a situation in a new light?