Amy Venezia

 

 

 

 

The TEN things I LOVE on this FRIDAY!

 

 

1. The sound an “on the rocks” drink makes…

 

 

 

2. That my 4 year old nephew still demands to hear Coldplay before he goes to sleep at night…

 

 

 

3. As cheesy as it sounds, hearing “Don’t wanna miss a thing” this week and smiling because in my 30’s,  I feel that way about life…not a man.

 

 

4. The Mahi burgers from Taco Loco in Laguna Beach, CA – Oh, how I miss them…

 

 

5. A full tank of gas, clean sheets, a just washed car…new beginnings.

 

 

6. That when my Mom and I were going back and forth in a conversation yesterday, my nephew looked at my Mom and said, “Mimi, Aunt Amy is right. Now, stop talking.” I have never laughed so hard in my life…

 

7. Dancing around my living room…:)

 

 

8. Having one of my friend’s say my back side is “ba- dunka- dunk” and that I actually took the time to go to the Urban dictionary to see what it means…

 

 

9. Hearing from my readers…

 

 

10.  Steak and frites and that soon it will be Rose’ time again…oui, oui.

 

 

 

HAPPY FRIDAY!!

 

 

 

 

 

The TEN things I LOVE on this FRIDAY!

 

 

 

1. Watching the snow fall while in my bed writing this…

 

 

 

 

2. That the threat of being snowed in for some reason gave me the excuse to buy bacon… I hardly ever eat bacon~ but looking forward to a yummy bacon and egg sandwichJ

 

 

 

 

3. How life gives you the opportunity to run into someone who really did you some damage in a hurtful way a long time ago- and yet you find you just feel love for them. That is a really cool feeling.

 

 

 

 

 

4. Wearing my hair in pigtails…it just makes me feel five again.

 

 

 

 

 

5. When I look up and see a man for the first time…and with that one look from him, he reminds me in all the right ways that I am all womanJ

 

 

 

 

 

6. Sea salt and vinegar chips…

 

 

 

 

7. Watching the people in our country step up and help Haiti, even in our financial state right now…

 

 

 

 

 

8. Laughing so hard my cheeks hurt…

 

 

 

 

 

9. Pandora radio…

 

 

 

 

10. That the snow day today has given me the opportunity to stay at home and finish writing this new bookJ No excuses…

 

 

 

 

Happy Friday!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is it a curse or a blessing to be young and single in the year 2009?

 

 

 

To walk the line between obligation relations of my parents generation and instant gratification relations of my generation.

 

 

 

Sometimes I envy the days when there was no text or email to add to the delusion that hormones and endorphins already provoke in attraction.

 

 

 

As I sat talking with a friend this morning this is what came to mind…

 

 

 

My friend has been texting and emailing every day with someone who is in a committed relationship-

 

 

 

I have been there, same boat, over the last couple years. Thinking you have a foundation of a friendship or a connection that is growing-

 

 

 

But then, just like the erase button on your phone or the delete button on your email- you find that the foundation was about as solid as a cloud.

Now, I am not talking about people you are doing business with or talking with for other reasons than personal…

And personally, I don’t really like  talking on the phone. I much more prefer to talk through text or email unless it is a conversation that needs that kind of attention.

 

 

 

Anyway,  here is my friend, starting to have feelings for a person that shares a home and dogs and bank accounts and life with her boyfriend- yet has this little communication going on everyday through text and email.

 

 

 

My friend really diggs this girl…and their growing friendship…

 

 

 

However,

 

 

 

 

 

In the realm of communication, I have come to learn this truth-

 

 

 

 

 TEXT always equals NEXT…

 

 

 

Next please!

 

 

 Next filler in line, next thrill…next high….next person to pass the time.

 

 

 

I told my friend to watch it…guard his heart.

 

 

 

To me,  a person who is in a committed relationship, that is texting and carrying on communication on a daily basis with someone other than their partner-

 

 

 

That person is an intimacy junkie.

 

 

 

Period.

 

 

 

Now, that doesn’t mean that they are to blame. The person on the other end of the text makes the choice to take the bait and stay on the line.

 

 

 

But let’s face it-

 

 

 

There is about as much substance in text as there is in a piece of celery-

 

 

 

 You are basically gnawing on a stick of water…

 

 

 

Now, maybe if you were in the desert- a stick of water a.k.a. celery would be like a slice of heaven to you…

 

 

 

And maybe, in the desert of a committed, yet unhappy relationship- text “relations” is that slice of heaven to a person?

 

 

 

I think though when it comes to your heart-

 

 

 

All should text with caution…

 

 

 

Knowing- that just like anything else that comes with a warning label, sometimes there are risks and one should proceed with caution.

 

 

 

Intimacy junkies are those who need a fix of faux intimacy. While they play house with their girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands and wives.

 

 

 

They don’t get it from their own connection with their lover, yet they are not at a place yet with in themselves to face the truth and make the hard choices that might, just might make them happy.

 

 

 

We have all been there at one time or another in life.

 

 

 

I wonder what it is going to take for all of us to get real? When all around there are options to stay unauthentic?

 

 

 

The moral of this little Monday morning story?

 

 

 

TEXT always means NEXT.

 

 

 

Make sure you have other forms of communication, such as an actual physical conversation on the phone, a long hug- eye to eye contact and conversation…before allowing your heart to ponder sweet nothings…

Next time you find yourself texting someone on a regular basis, ask yourself what you are wanting out of it-

And if it is not to build connectedness, respect, value and friendship- check yourself:)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last night it hit me-

 

 

 

In the midst of painting my nails and doing my hair-

 

 

As I sat in my cozy, little condo apartment…

 

 

 I was blankly staring into the refrigerator trying to come up with one little opinion or desire as to what might sound good for dinner-

 

 

 

 And that is when it hit me. I have become aTweener- 

 

 

You won’t find Tweener with google- at least not in the way I mean it.

A Tweener is a single who is in “between”-

Still young enough to be considered a “trophy” to the older generation and getting close to old enough to be eligible for the “cougar” category for the younger generation.

I moved on to the cabinets- blankly staring- recollecting the day’s events.

Earlier in the day I had been writing- at Starbucks- when this kid,

(You know you are getting old when you refer to a college student as “a kid”),

Anyway, this guy kept looking at me- I finally looked up and he gave this  sexy, little smile.

I didn’t know what to do- I think I blushed- for the first time in a long time. Not so much at his good looks or blatant confidence in flirting- but at the fact that I would lay down money that he wasn’t even of drinking age yet-

I fixed my eyes on my computer screen trying not to notice that he would not take his eyes off of me.

Finally he asks me a question- I had to take my headphones off so I could hear him-

“So, do you wear those headphones to keep guys like me from talking to you?”- He asks.

“No, I am actually listening to music…”- I respond- trying to sound professional or maybe motherly-

 

 

Anything but flirtatious.

He sat staring-

“I see you in here a lot-  always working hard- what are you working on?” he asks.

 

 

“I am working on editing a book and material for my website … so I am writing.” – I reply.

 

 

“Do you want to take a break and have lunch with me?”- he asks.

OK- I have to stop this now, I thought to myself.

 

 

Before I feel like I need to go to confession… and I am not even Catholic.

“How old are you?”- I ask him.

 

 

“How old do you think I am?”- He responds with a smile.

 

 

“Young enough to answer a question with a question.”- I reply dryly.

 

 

That got a smile out of him.

“I’m 19”- He says…” Why, is that an issue?”

I started laughing…as I replied, “ Uh, yeah… about a 16 year issue.”

He didn’t flinch…

“Look, you are very cute and seem to be a very nice guy, but I need to get back to writing and you need to get to someone from your decade.”- – I replied as I put my headphones back on.

 

 

He smiled and gave a little nod- got up and left.

So- last night as I sat and picked a bag of popcorn out of the pantry-

That is when it all became clear to  me-

I am a tweener single.

I can’t remember the last time a man my age actually approached me-

Fifty somethings- yes!

Forty somethings- yes!

19 year olds- yes!

Twenty somethings? Yes!

Hell, I have even had 70 somethings hit on me…

But a man- my age? a few…

I am lost- floating somewhere in between the older, mature man who wants a younger, mature woman-

And college kids who think I am borderline Cougar material…

I put my popcorn in the microwave and put a movie in…

Foreign…

I have been watching so many movies with subtitles lately that I was half way through an American one last time before I realized I had subtitles on…

I sat in my bed- freshly painted nails- eating popcorn for dinner-

When I realized…

I needed intervention-

I called my best friend in Florida-

“Hi my love”- she answered with her usually cheery, yet kinda  groggy voice.

 

 

“Am I calling too late?”- I asked her since she is one hour later.

 

 

“No, I was kind of asleep… but not really.”- She replied.

 

 

I kept it short-

“Love, if in the next year I get a cat- I want you to shoot me.” I said to her…

 

 

There! To the point.

She laughed out loud…I sat silent.

“Is that it?” – She asked, still laughing.

 

 

“Yep, that’s it. Go back to sleep…”

I hung up the phone and felt a little better.

I may not be able to change the tweener stage I am in right now.

 

But I can bring in the big guns to keep from going full out -stereotypical SINGLE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was invited to a party.

 

 

I walked through the door of the penthouse with a half feeling of dread, rising to the surface from the boiling pot of presumption and stereotypical thoughts swirling around in my mind.

 

 

My best friend looked at me and said , “ Uh, I think we are in pre-baby boomer land.”

 

 

I swallowed and replied back, “Pre- baby boomer my ass. We are in the land of Pre-nupers!”

 

 

20 something’s that are living off of trust funds in multi million dollar penthouses where the paintings on the walls are enough to make a mature art collector salivate- yet the owner is on the couch showing off his highest score on the latest video games- not the art collection.

 

 

I walked out on the balcony and just did what I do best…

 

 

I observed the sea of people before me.

 

 

I watched as the 20 something girls, who strangely enough all in some way resembled each other. Even though there were blonde’s(mostly), red heads and brunettes.

 

 

I watched these girls with there thousands of dollars of accessories and their hair tossing and their spray on tans…

 

 

I looked at the handbags and the shoes and the designer clothing-

 

 

And I thought to myself, what does this remind me of?

 

 

I was not being judgmental, only taking an honest observation of the scene I found myself in. I like my handbags, shoes and accessories too.

 

These girls had everything you could possibly need to be “hot” or be the center of attention. Minus one attribute.

 

 

Mystery.

 

 

Not one of them had that mystique that captures men and stops them in their tracks.

 

 

Not one of them had the perfume of intrigue that you can pick up from across the room on a sensuous woman.

 

 

I pointed that out to my friend. She agreed.

 

 

Again I asked myself what does this remind me of?

 

 

The handbags and shoes and jewelry and dresses?

 

 

And then it came to me-

 

 

Kitty litter.

 

 

Yep.  That is what came to me.

 

 

Kitty litter.

 

 

A cat can do its business and sit there over and over making sure that mess gets covered up.

 

 

 

But after all its hard work and underneath all the litter?

 

 

MESS is still there.

 

 

Kind of like the handbags. You can dress yourself up with the best, work really hard to make sure it is all “covered” up-

 

 

But underneath it is still a MESS.

 

 

My friend and I laughed at these young guys, realizing that they probably wouldn’t even know what to do with themselves outside of this “litter box”.

 

 

I decided to do a little test and told my friend, “Let’s try something. I am going to pick a guy and make eye contact with him. I am going to hold his gaze, unapologetically. I am going to stop his conversation in mid-sentence- I am going to make him blush like a little girlJ.”

 

 

She laughed and was up for the experiement.

 

 

We stood, backs against the counter when I spotted my contestant.

 

 

He was in a conversation with a couple of people, facing me.

 

 

I looked at him, he looked up at me- I did not look away. I did not smile. My lips slightly parted, I just stared.

 

 

My friend had to turn around to keep from laughing,  because he literally lost it. He couldn’t complete his sentence. Lost all concentration. Became so nervous he started fidgeting with his shirt and his pockets. Like a little school boy.

 

 

My best friend whispered under her breath, “Wow, that is amazing. It is like he has never seen a woman before.”

 

 

Yet, he was in a room full of them. 

 

Sensuality is a missing chip in a lot of the girls I witness today. That art form that old Hollywood portrayed so well.

Sensuality is not cheap or easy. It is wealth and an inner richness a woman possessess.

It is not contrived-

 

 

It is mystery and intrigue in its finest.

 

 

 

Inner confidence that has nothing to do with materialism or the strive for perfection.

 

 

The modern day Geisha. That can hold a man’s gaze and make him weak. That can carry on any conversation with knowledge and wit. That has mastered world knowledge and the arts. Multi dimensional like a kaleidoscope.

 

 

A Goddess.

 

 

And it comes from confidence of your whole nature. Knowing who you are and what you want.

 

Accepting yourself, the good and the not so good. Relying on more than the material for happiness and inner power or self assurance.

 

 

A woman, who when the lights go down, knows and loves herself all the more for it.

 

 

Not kitty litter cover up.

 

 

Or Prada and Jimmy ChooJ

 

 

 

 

Oh being single…

 

 

Just love it how people look at me sometimes like a stray puppy hoping and waiting for adoption.

 

As if my being “alone” mirrors back such fear in them…they just have to fix it.

 

 

Funny thing is? I love being alone. I truly do.

 

 

I am ok with being with me…I have learned to love the silence- not only love it, but allow it to cover me in a blanket of relief.

 

 

To some, silence is blunt and forceful. To me, it is soft and lovely.

 

 

I remember when it first came out to make “vision boards”…cutting out things from magazines and such and putting them on a board so you can visualize everyday what you want to create in your life.

 

 

I remember the looks I got from friends and some family when I cut out and put up my “dream” type of home.

 

 

It was some designer’s home…can’t remember who…but one of the straight ones.

 

 

Him and his wife had the main home- amazing bungalow type of open- aired home.

 

 

Then to the right of the property was “his” house. To the left? Hers.

 

 

Yep…they had their own little bungalows. Decorated the way each wanted it. 100% their expression. A place to go for solitude. For creating.

 

 

For peace.

 

 

My dream home…

 

At breakfast this weekend I sat with friends and we discussed a man who is wanting to meet me.

 

 

Over a bite of my omelette and a sip of my luke- warm coffee, I nonchalantly stated that I would love to meet him as a friend, but had no interest romantically or physically or anything else not resembling “friendship”.

 

 

My guy friend sat in front of me and with sweet smile said, “ I don’t understand that. How can you

 make that decision when you haven’t even  met the guy? What? You can tell through an email?”

 

 

Another sip of coffee, I looked up at him and said, “ I just know.”, as I shrugged my shoulders with a little smile.

 

 

“How???”- he asked.

 

 

I sat searching my thoughts trying to find words to explain an inner knowing.

 

 

Words failed me, until this visual came into my mind.

 

 

I asked my friend, “ You know how they train people to identify counterfeit money?”

 

 

My friend replied, “ Yeah, they give them nothing but real money to study.”

 

 

“Correct”, I said…” They give them real money to study so intently that they memorize every last grain, texture, symbol, smell… that is what it is like for me. I have known since my first breath the “real” thing.  Memorized every last bit of essence. I may not be able to show the real thing yet in my life, but I certainly know its counterfeit.”

 

 

 

I got kudos on that analogyJ Those are my cool friends, they get it.

 

 

Now,  I have made what some might view as mistakes- loving and giving my heart to counterfeits.

 

 

No mistakes…only lessons. Bringing me closer to authenticity…the real thing.

 

It is all a journey. And I embrace the mornings I wake up and feel cool air against my skin from the space all around me, unfilled.

 

As much as I enjoy the mornings I wake up and feel warm skin against me…(although I can’t really remember what that feels likeJ)

 

I love it how sometimes,  I am out with friends who are married or in partnership…some of them act as if my singleness is equivalent to an STD or something…spreads easily, …tabu…keeps coming back…as if it is gonna wear off on them.

 

Not all them and I have to say it really isn’t my close friends. More acquaintances-

 

I love it how I can share my single stories and see a flicker of life in the man’s eyes…like “ahhh the good ole’ days”…and yet see the fear in the woman’s eyes…like a deer caught in head lights.

 

Amazing how to some,  ” relationship”  has come to be a means to an end…

 

 

I spy…the TRUTH. How about you?

 

 

 

 

 

Finally, I hear from the women!

 

 

My post, “Do you or someone you love suffer from APS”, received a lot of response from both men and women.

 

 

But the emails I got the most were from women asking me just what I suggest women do to “help” things.

 

 

A lot of women, I find,  seem to think they are the innocent victims in almost all relationship dysfunctions..

 

 

In that post, where I asked “Who will take responsibility first towards a real connection?- The woman or the man?”-

 

 

I found that most women honestly had no clue as to how they might go about that…

 

 

And so they emailed me-

 

 

Well, I can only speak from my relativity. Here, in no particular order, are the basics I start with when it comes to Men 101…and I do mean basics.

 

 

What does it mean to show up a little and take responsibility for your half of the relationship women?

 

 

For women it means GAME ON! Not GAME OFF!

 

 

 Snap out of it!

 

 

 Every day live in the moment and never, I do mean never, take for granted that he is yours.

 

 

 Listen…truly listen.

 

 

 Buy a Maxim and read what men are saying and how they think, as men- this doesn’t change when a man falls in love!

 

 

He still wants you to shave your legs and put a comb through your hair.

 

 

Or want to do something exhilarating instead of sitting home to watch your favorite shows on any given night.

 

 

 He still wants the porn star to come out once in a while- like Halloween.

 

 

 You can still be a saint-

 

 

He still wants SEX….

 

 

And compliments instead of nagging reminders.

 

 

He needs praise-

 

 

 He needs a buddy and a lover.

 

 

That is just skating along the superficial level of things…

 

 

Most women never recognize or acknowledge the tap dance routine men do on any given day…

 

 

 

 Look at what men do…

 

 

 They have to act like they enjoy greeting cards-

 

 

And that they really do want to open up and “talk about it”.

 

 

 They have to act like they actually have a clue about how important romance is -

 

 

They have to endure Hugh Grant movies with you and act excited about having a cat as a pet.

 

 

They have to listen and know they are going to be quizzed aka drilled later on…

 

 

They have to pick out the paint for the living room and act attentive when all they wish is to be sitting at home with a beer watching the game.

 

 

They have to go against their basic grain so many times simply because they do want to love you and be with you.

 

 

We both, men and women, have to give in order to meet in the middle.

 

 

 To go deeper.

 

 

 

And these examples are the equivalent to putting your toes in the water…

 

 

Are your toes in the water today? Or are you in LA LA land somewhere up on the shore convincing yourself you are in the deep?

 

 

Just a question…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“From the times you chastise us for leaving a wet towel on the bed to those nights you rip through a pint of fudge ripple without stopping to breathe, we file each incident in a mental folder labeled “Evidence She’ll Change for the Worse.”

 

Woke up this morning and checked my emails…

 

This was sent to me from an article about why men bail on even the women they are really into…

 

Brutal…

 

The whole article.

 

But refreshingly honest.

 

I have to say my favorite part of the article is the “timing is off “ reasoning…

 

Basically, it states a guy can be dating a girl for 2 years…and if one little part of his life is undone~ he won’t settle down with her. He could break up with her and start dating someone else though and end up engaged to that chick 6 months later-

 

The only difference between 2 year relationship girl and 6 month dating girl? TIMING.

 

I have learned this over my years…

 

I don’t know what it is-

 

I call it APS-

 

The Auto Pilot Syndrome in men.

 

A man can literally be living with a woman for a year, maybe two- telling her everyday he loves her. Eating dinner and doing the dishes with her.

 

They can have little rituals together, like he makes coffee and she brings him the paper…

 

Going to the dog park to walk “their” dog…

 

Nicknames like butter biscuit or lover…

 

And one day, after two years of living with this woman and going through all these motions- the guy is in the shower-

 

And somewhere between the shampoo and the shave? It hits him…

 

“I think I really love this girl.”

 

After two years…

 

730 dog walks, 730 dinners, hundreds of kisses, maybe 300 nights of mind blowing sex mixed with a couple hundred nights of this is as good as it’s gonna get sex…

 

And suddenly the actions line up with an actual feeling or conviction.

Now that is not to say the man didn’t “feel” love during those two years.

 

I am talking about the deep emotional tie that tows the line-

 

Between ‘I am in this until it ends…to I am in this and hope it never ends.’

 

This is reality-

 

Where we get off track in relationships?

 

Women just buy whatever they are being given at the moment as long as it continues to feed the fantasy rather than shatter it…

 

Wonder how our relationships would shift if women took a moment to really tune in and see their man-

 

Really SEE him.

 

Past the actions, past the box of conventionalism, past the auto pilot?

 

Who will take the responsibility first towards a real connection?

 

The man~ being truthful with where he is at and what he needs?

 

Or the woman~ willing to see the man in true light- as is- without expectations.

 

Either way? An honesty so deep would be the end result-

 

And when a man and a woman can connect and communicate on that level?

 

That is the tie that binds…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“What exactly is ‘self-love’ to you Amy?”

I leaned back in my chair-

I had my laptop in the little covey of my living room window.

Candles lit and with the dim light of the computer screen, I could just barely see my reflection in the window.

It had been a long day. My hair looked like I just rolled out of bed…eye liner slightly smudged from the work out prior to the checking my emails.

I just sat and stared at my reflection and well….reflected.

I was being asked this question by a reader who had seen a comment I had written about “self love”.

Well, it certainly wasn’t what I was feeling looking at myself in that moment. All I was feeling was a shower coming on…

What a good question to ask…I thought to myself.

That is why I love to get correspondence from my readers- sometimes you make a comment or ask a question that gets me thinking and coming from a new angle.

Self-love has been an evolving thing to me over the years.

And I can only answer what it means to me from my place of relativity. For everyone it is different.

It is almost as difficult to put into a box or definition as “love” is.

When you begin to think about it or try, it is like pulling a thread from your favorite sweater…

You unravel the mystery enough to lose the tangible, solid form you were holding in your hands that you could pinpoint and say “Yeah, that is a sweater”- to a handful of thread that you can now do what you please with- make and mold into anything you want.

To me, this is what happens when I try to break down what self-love is to me.

When I get silent enough- the core of it means to me that I acknowledge the universal truth of who I am and who every other human being is too.

There is no human who has ever been born or who will ever be born who is devoid of the need to be loved when arriving on this planet.

We all want to be seen- we all want to be heard.

We all want a second chance- and a third and a fourth.

We all want our goodness to be acknowledged and our weakness to be accepted.

We all want to be forgiven seventy times seven and again…

If you think about it- this desire we have is the built in compass we all carry inside of us.

Some of us just have so much “junk” accumulated we can’t get to it anymore.

So the day I got to the core of this within myself- I realized that the reason I desire all these things, just like every other person on the planet , is because deep inside I know the “TRUTH”.

That I am a brilliant work of art- no matter what my spiritual beliefs are-

Even scientifically. To think of the perfection of this body, of all its parts, of my personality, there is never ever going to be another ‘me’ on this planet.

Never has been and never will be. Blows my mind.

Clarity, creativity, compassion and peace of mind are always present when I remember this truth.

So to me,  if it feels that good and the results are that positive- this must be a good road to travel down.

I have never, since I was a child, understood judging another human being.

I have gotten wrapped up in it at times. I have expressed criticism to those I love the most. I have lashed out and I am sure made someone feel less than loved at times.  

Every time I have ever caught myself lashing out like that has been a time I could visibly point out the pain I was in or the fear that had come up for me in that moment.

Always about me, never about the other person.

Every time I have ever done this, I have felt the sting come right back to me. It doesn’t feel good to blame and criticize- To judge and demean another. To automatically assume how someone might be off of their “personality” traits.

So, first I come to realize that just as I need love- so does everyone else around me. And when I extend love I get it back. Period.

Next, painstakingly I have come to accept my flaws.

That is a tough one. Letting go of the perfectionism.

When it comes to how much I have beat myself up over the years? I would make Mike Tyson look like a purring kitten…

As I was that hard on myself- guess what? So was everyone else around me.

In 35 years I have accepted the fact that what I give is what I get.

Period.

You can call it metaphysics or la la land new age-

Call it what you want but it is a scientific fact. A law of nature.

When I show myself love? Patience? Light heartedness? When I can laugh at my mistakes and give myself the benefit of the doubt?

I find that is what I am met with in my day from the girl who makes me coffee, to the banker taking my deposit to the dog I pass on the sidewalk.

You ooze love – love finds a way to ooze back to you.

Self- love to me is when I plan out dinner and go to the store excited and put just as much effort into as I would if I was making it for my lover…nice music. Light candles…beautiful bottle of wine- yet it is just me attending. That is self- love to me.

Self- love is when others want to keep you down over a mistake supposedly made- having the guts to get back up off the ground and move on as if nothing even occurred.

The guts to let go of playing victim…of any belief or thought that undermines the totality of the miracle it is to be HUMAN.

Self- love is taking responsibility for my life and how I react to the ups and downs.

Self- love is not taking on another person’s opinion of who I am or what I can be.

Self -love is the only love that I will 100% have in my life until the day I leave this earth.

There is no other love outside of myself that I can say that with.

People come and go, relationships come and go, friends come and go, love comes and goes.

Self- love?

Forever…

 

Everyone feels good when they are considered to be a “good lover”…

 

Here’s a little tip…be a “good self lover” and you will never go wrong in that department:)

 

 

 

 

Watch my interview with ‘Neon and Waltzes’ creator and producer, Kristopher David Irizarry-Hoeksema…

 

 

 

In it, I talk about what it is like to blog about relationships and sex in the South.

 

As well as discuss my book, Aphro-ME-siac: A girl’s guide to the ultimate aphrodisiac…

 

http://blip.tv/file/2513856/ (click on this link)