Amy Venezia

 

 

 

 

Finally, I hear from the women!

 

 

My post, “Do you or someone you love suffer from APS”, received a lot of response from both men and women.

 

 

But the emails I got the most were from women asking me just what I suggest women do to “help” things.

 

 

A lot of women, I find,  seem to think they are the innocent victims in almost all relationship dysfunctions..

 

 

In that post, where I asked “Who will take responsibility first towards a real connection?- The woman or the man?”-

 

 

I found that most women honestly had no clue as to how they might go about that…

 

 

And so they emailed me-

 

 

Well, I can only speak from my relativity. Here, in no particular order, are the basics I start with when it comes to Men 101…and I do mean basics.

 

 

What does it mean to show up a little and take responsibility for your half of the relationship women?

 

 

For women it means GAME ON! Not GAME OFF!

 

 

 Snap out of it!

 

 

 Every day live in the moment and never, I do mean never, take for granted that he is yours.

 

 

 Listen…truly listen.

 

 

 Buy a Maxim and read what men are saying and how they think, as men- this doesn’t change when a man falls in love!

 

 

He still wants you to shave your legs and put a comb through your hair.

 

 

Or want to do something exhilarating instead of sitting home to watch your favorite shows on any given night.

 

 

 He still wants the porn star to come out once in a while- like Halloween.

 

 

 You can still be a saint-

 

 

He still wants SEX….

 

 

And compliments instead of nagging reminders.

 

 

He needs praise-

 

 

 He needs a buddy and a lover.

 

 

That is just skating along the superficial level of things…

 

 

Most women never recognize or acknowledge the tap dance routine men do on any given day…

 

 

 

 Look at what men do…

 

 

 They have to act like they enjoy greeting cards-

 

 

And that they really do want to open up and “talk about it”.

 

 

 They have to act like they actually have a clue about how important romance is -

 

 

They have to endure Hugh Grant movies with you and act excited about having a cat as a pet.

 

 

They have to listen and know they are going to be quizzed aka drilled later on…

 

 

They have to pick out the paint for the living room and act attentive when all they wish is to be sitting at home with a beer watching the game.

 

 

They have to go against their basic grain so many times simply because they do want to love you and be with you.

 

 

We both, men and women, have to give in order to meet in the middle.

 

 

 To go deeper.

 

 

 

And these examples are the equivalent to putting your toes in the water…

 

 

Are your toes in the water today? Or are you in LA LA land somewhere up on the shore convincing yourself you are in the deep?

 

 

Just a question…