Hello, my name is Tweener…have we met?
Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
Last night it hit me-
In the midst of painting my nails and doing my hair-
As I sat in my cozy, little condo apartment…
I was blankly staring into the refrigerator trying to come up with one little opinion or desire as to what might sound good for dinner-
And that is when it hit me. I have become aTweener-
You won’t find Tweener with google- at least not in the way I mean it.
A Tweener is a single who is in “between”-
Still young enough to be considered a “trophy” to the older generation and getting close to old enough to be eligible for the “cougar” category for the younger generation.
I moved on to the cabinets- blankly staring- recollecting the day’s events.
Earlier in the day I had been writing- at Starbucks- when this kid,
(You know you are getting old when you refer to a college student as “a kid”),
Anyway, this guy kept looking at me- I finally looked up and he gave this sexy, little smile.
I didn’t know what to do- I think I blushed- for the first time in a long time. Not so much at his good looks or blatant confidence in flirting- but at the fact that I would lay down money that he wasn’t even of drinking age yet-
I fixed my eyes on my computer screen trying not to notice that he would not take his eyes off of me.
Finally he asks me a question- I had to take my headphones off so I could hear him-
“So, do you wear those headphones to keep guys like me from talking to you?”- He asks.
“No, I am actually listening to music…”- I respond- trying to sound professional or maybe motherly-
Anything but flirtatious.
He sat staring-
“I see you in here a lot- always working hard- what are you working on?” he asks.
“I am working on editing a book and material for my website … so I am writing.” – I reply.
“Do you want to take a break and have lunch with me?”- he asks.
OK- I have to stop this now, I thought to myself.
Before I feel like I need to go to confession… and I am not even Catholic.
“How old are you?”- I ask him.
“How old do you think I am?”- He responds with a smile.
“Young enough to answer a question with a question.”- I reply dryly.
That got a smile out of him.
“I’m 19”- He says…” Why, is that an issue?”
I started laughing…as I replied, “ Uh, yeah… about a 16 year issue.”
He didn’t flinch…
“Look, you are very cute and seem to be a very nice guy, but I need to get back to writing and you need to get to someone from your decade.”- – I replied as I put my headphones back on.
He smiled and gave a little nod- got up and left.
So- last night as I sat and picked a bag of popcorn out of the pantry-
That is when it all became clear to me-
I am a tweener single.
I can’t remember the last time a man my age actually approached me-
Fifty somethings- yes!
Forty somethings- yes!
19 year olds- yes!
Twenty somethings? Yes!
Hell, I have even had 70 somethings hit on me…
But a man- my age? a few…
I am lost- floating somewhere in between the older, mature man who wants a younger, mature woman-
And college kids who think I am borderline Cougar material…
I put my popcorn in the microwave and put a movie in…
Foreign…
I have been watching so many movies with subtitles lately that I was half way through an American one last time before I realized I had subtitles on…
I sat in my bed- freshly painted nails- eating popcorn for dinner-
When I realized…
I needed intervention-
I called my best friend in Florida-
“Hi my love”- she answered with her usually cheery, yet kinda groggy voice.
“Am I calling too late?”- I asked her since she is one hour later.
“No, I was kind of asleep… but not really.”- She replied.
I kept it short-
“Love, if in the next year I get a cat- I want you to shoot me.” I said to her…
There! To the point.
She laughed out loud…I sat silent.
“Is that it?” – She asked, still laughing.
“Yep, that’s it. Go back to sleep…”
I hung up the phone and felt a little better.
I may not be able to change the tweener stage I am in right now.
But I can bring in the big guns to keep from going full out -stereotypical SINGLE!
