Vignette #4 from New Orleans: Can you spare some change?
Tue Jan 3 2012
Vignette #4 from New Orleans: In whom or what do you trust?
Fiduciary.
No, this was not one of my words from a scrabble game last night.
I woke up this morning...got ready...walked my daily walk. Normally, before my coffee I am pretty much free of thought. Or...would not want to be judged on my conversations before intake.
I go up to the counter...order my americano with a smidgen of soy milk( I like to change it up...smidgen, pinch, sprinkle, morsel, dash..you get it) and I look at a flip calendar type thing that has a “word of the day”.
Fiduciary: held or founded in trust or confidence.
Even before my first sip...my mind was moving. I don’t like that. My mind moves enough throughout the day...I like its coma like stance it takes before caffeine.
Never the less..I asked myself the question, Whom and what do I hold trust and confidence in my life?
That is an open ended question.
Are we talking trust in how I know a certain person will show up? Trust in how I know something will turn out? Or absolute trust?
I used to be Pollyanna when it came to trust. It took years and many raking’s over coals to finally realize that you can’t always believe what people portray or say to you. I always thought or believed if people said something to you with absolute conviction, you could believe them. Dumb...but true.
At 37 years old there is not much I trust in. Except change. I trust that things will always change. That I change. That people can change.
And that is one thing that this trip is about. Pushing my limits. Not staying in a rut. Not going to the same places. Surviving in a city by myself. Pushing myself to write better than I have in the past.
One small way is some days I have my coffee from Rose...somedays I go to PJ’s...some days I go have breakfast somewhere and get it. I am a creature of habit and if I don’t consciously choose change...I will do the same thing over and over.
A creative can’t live that way. Not when you want to go beyond what even you think you are capable of. You have to choose change...and for me, that doesn’t come easy. But every time I do...I feel liberated...a little wiser...a little more inspired...a little closer to my heart.
Like today, I had eggs benedict. I don’t like eggs benedict...but I went to Stanley at Jackson Square and asked the guy what he suggested...that was his suggestion, so I got it. And I loved it.
That is what my 2012 is going to be about. Dropping old judgements. Trying new things. Expanding my horizons. Making my ability to adapt my fiduciary. One eggs benedict at a time.
How about you? Can you spare some change?
RSS Feed of this blogLight in...light out.
Fri Mar 8 2013
I think it was Rumi who said that your wounds are the place where the light comes in. I believe that...I do. I also believe that your wounds are the place where you let the light out. If one were to think of it logically...in physical sense where there is proof to the…
Check out my new book, Woo Dat! Now available on Amazon!
Tue Feb 5 2013
Hello readers of my blog, Man oh man has this been a whirl wind of a year so far! Last year, I was inspired to write a book after my first visit to a city I absolutely fell head over heels in love with...New Orleans. I eventually moved to New Orleans…
The grass isn't greener on the other side...
Tue Oct 2 2012
The grass isn’t greener on the other side...it is only greener where you water it. This doesn’t just apply in relationships...this applies across the board in life with anything you are putting your time, energy, and effort into. Instant gratification being the thing valued most in the year 2012...how then do you…
Love is all kinds of things...except what you think it is.
Tue Sep 11 2012
Love is all kinds of different things, except what you think it is. There are three paths of love taken in this life. You have the committed long term relationship, that if you stick together, will eventually reveal what is love and what is not. The other is short term relationships,…
An open letter to men...with all my love.
Thu Sep 6 2012
An open letter to men: Dear Men(not all men, exclude yourselves if you feel it doesn't apply), I want to start off this letter by saying how much I truly appreciate your gender. I, for one, have always enjoyed being around and witnessing what I consider to be stunning differences between you…
I am Self-ish
Mon Jul 30 2012
I am striving to be more me than I have ever been. I read this today and immediately felt if I were a walking billboard...this would be the words sprawled across me. I don’t care anymore. I truly don’t care what this person thinks or that person. I don’t care about needy…
Might as well face it, you're addicted to...
Mon Jul 23 2012
As I walk down the cobblestone sidewalk in the French Quarter, I fight to keep my balance. It is not an easy dance...the intricate combination of keeping my eyes on the ground for potential spots where my stiletto heels might get caught or tripped up on, all the while trying…
Five A.M. Change
Tue Jul 17 2012
Five A.M. and I can’t sleep. Have you ever had one of those days where the clouds rolled in and no matter how much “work” you do to coax the sun back out... in the form of meditation, staying vigilant of your thoughts, and/or desire to remove the funk...the funk…
The Pirate's Alley and perfect union.
Mon Jul 9 2012
I found myself walking down Royal Street. Everything a bit surreal to me. I had dropped off those I love at the airport and it was just me and New Orleans. On my birthday. Something in me felt so fiercely independent. So in love with my life and its process…
The playing field...
Tue Jun 26 2012
The air was so thick...driving through the Bywater community of New Orleans...weaving my way in and out of the one way streets in search of a treasure hunt in the form of a yard sale. I turned down a familiar street, where I had just walked into an old church the…
