Amy Venezia

Another year-

 

Another year flown by.  

 

Packed with learning, growing, laughter, pain, healed relationships, broken relationships, creations, disappointments and successes.

 

New Years Eve has always been my favorite holiday.

 

I spend it different than most.

 

Alone.

 

By choice.

 

When I was not a struggling writerJ, I would book a hotel room…order room service and champagne…make myself a hot bath~ and truly examine the year passed and what I want to create in the year to come.

 

I take the time to visualize my New Year- which to me is the most important part of New Years Eve and Day.

 

Oh… I miss those daysJ

 

But I can do the same with out the pampering this year.

 

I never really got getting so hammered at a party that you wake up on the first day of the New Year already having to account for lost moments and brain cells.

 

I went out this weekend for the first time in a long time. I am glad I did.

 

It was a good reminder.

 

I met friends out that I have known for over a decade. One friend who was trying to get in my pants then and ten years later? Still trying…

 

I sat there drinking my gin with St. Germain…

 

Thinking how some things don’t change. How did I find myself, over a decade later, having the same conversation?

 

I have come to look at people in my life as lessons.

 

Always presenting lessons.

 

Nothing happened between us ten years ago, and nothing happened between us this weekend- just the normal flirting and fun conversation.

 

But still, I have to look at the place in which I find myself.

 

Having to not only make that decision, but having to explain that decision to someone who doesn’t want to listen to standards or reasons…

 

There is this part of me that wants to throw out my stilettos and flirtations – and go on some kind of global trip where I don’t  wear a speck of makeup or have to say no to anyone because I am not being asked for anything. I am only serving and giving and learning.

 

I am tired of assumptions I suppose.

 

I am social, connected and flirtatious. I am sensual. I love to dress up and look feminine.

 

I like conversation and laughter. Good food, good wine, good music, dancing…

 

But I have standards. And I have discipline and convictions.

 

And at this point in my life, where I am single by choice and enjoying my solitude and personal growth, I just don’t want to keep attracting men that want something I am not offering.

 

Although, I am deep enough to take responsibility for what I am attracting in my life.

 

 

Seems to be two extremes in the single world-

 

Either, not getting hit on at all and feeling lonely and borderline desperate~

 

Or getting hit on a lot, by men who haven’t taken the time to notice that you aren’t even on the playing field.

 

It is an interesting time in the world to be single- with so many changes on the relationship dynamic home front…

 

Changes in the dynamics between men and women.

 

Just me thinking out loud as the New Year approaches…life is such an adventure and fun if you make it that way. Even the lessons…

How will you spend your New Years? And how closely will you look at your life over the year and make the choice for change?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tags: dating, life, love, New Years, new years eve, relationships, single

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009 at 3:18 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.