Text always equals Next…
Is it a curse or a blessing to be young and single in the year 2009?
To walk the line between obligation relations of my parents generation and instant gratification relations of my generation.
Sometimes I envy the days when there was no text or email to add to the delusion that hormones and endorphins already provoke in attraction.
As I sat talking with a friend this morning this is what came to mind…
My friend has been texting and emailing every day with someone who is in a committed relationship-
I have been there, same boat, over the last couple years. Thinking you have a foundation of a friendship or a connection that is growing-
But then, just like the erase button on your phone or the delete button on your email- you find that the foundation was about as solid as a cloud.
Now, I am not talking about people you are doing business with or talking with for other reasons than personal…
And personally, I don’t really like talking on the phone. I much more prefer to talk through text or email unless it is a conversation that needs that kind of attention.
Anyway, here is my friend, starting to have feelings for a person that shares a home and dogs and bank accounts and life with her boyfriend- yet has this little communication going on everyday through text and email.
My friend really diggs this girl…and their growing friendship…
However,
In the realm of communication, I have come to learn this truth-
TEXT always equals NEXT…
Next please!
Next filler in line, next thrill…next high….next person to pass the time.
I told my friend to watch it…guard his heart.
To me, a person who is in a committed relationship, that is texting and carrying on communication on a daily basis with someone other than their partner-
That person is an intimacy junkie.
Period.
Now, that doesn’t mean that they are to blame. The person on the other end of the text makes the choice to take the bait and stay on the line.
But let’s face it-
There is about as much substance in text as there is in a piece of celery-
You are basically gnawing on a stick of water…
Now, maybe if you were in the desert- a stick of water a.k.a. celery would be like a slice of heaven to you…
And maybe, in the desert of a committed, yet unhappy relationship- text “relations” is that slice of heaven to a person?
I think though when it comes to your heart-
All should text with caution…
Knowing- that just like anything else that comes with a warning label, sometimes there are risks and one should proceed with caution.
Intimacy junkies are those who need a fix of faux intimacy. While they play house with their girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands and wives.
They don’t get it from their own connection with their lover, yet they are not at a place yet with in themselves to face the truth and make the hard choices that might, just might make them happy.
We have all been there at one time or another in life.
I wonder what it is going to take for all of us to get real? When all around there are options to stay unauthentic?
The moral of this little Monday morning story?
TEXT always means NEXT.
Make sure you have other forms of communication, such as an actual physical conversation on the phone, a long hug- eye to eye contact and conversation…before allowing your heart to ponder sweet nothings…
Next time you find yourself texting someone on a regular basis, ask yourself what you are wanting out of it-
And if it is not to build connectedness, respect, value and friendship- check yourself:)
Tags: communication, dating, depth, friendship, intimacy, love, men, sex, superficial, text, women
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Don’t even get started on Sexting. What DID happen to the old days when we called and talked? What would society do if we didn’t have all of these communication tools for just one week?
this is so spot on, amy. anytime a guy tells me to text him [esp early on] it’s a big red flag.
ding – ding – ding. In this corner the person about to receive the boot and in the other…the person giving it.
Text messages, emails or any kind of indirect notes even letters mean nothing it’s all irrelevant unless you are talking directly to the other person. People tend to overuse messaging systems because it’s quick, but the truth is it’s irrelevant.