Wolf facts…. remind you of anything?
Fact #1- Wolves are extremely social animals
Fact #2- Wolves act as a social unit, called a pack
Fact #3- Wolves travel and hunt in a group and perform most activities in the company of other wolves
Hmmm…. Is this interestingly similar to your man and his friends?
Let me first start with a disclosure: Ladies, if you are expecting another man bashing, agreeing with every negative vibe you have on this subject, then stop reading here… sorry:(
This subject is one of the top things I hear women complain about when it comes to their man and I have to say it drives me nuts. I am not going to be hypocritical here by saying I used to not be the same way, because I was… But having dropped my judgment on this subject, I was able to see why it got to me so much, and so now I can call every woman on it too…
The reason why it bothers women so much? I will get into that in a bit…
Have you ever noticed how a woman can be going to meet her girlfriends and if you were to ask her who she was meeting she would respond with “ Ashley, Jessica, Anna “…. Whatever her friends names happen to be.
Ever notice how a guy can be on the way to meet his friends and you ask him the exact same question and his response is “ Stubbsy, Fatty, Big Joe and Chaz”…
What is that???
Who in the world can claim a man’s friendships are superficial when they have so affectionately named each other? You think I am exaggerating? You find me any group of guy friends and there is going to be at least half crowned with a nickname. It is like a belonging… A silent nod of camaraderie.
Ladies here is a newsflash: MEN NEED THEIR FRIENDS!
They won’t necessarily admit that to you or to themselves, but they will show you they do by their decision to keep the rights to their guy time even if it is at the risk of the giant drama they are going to face when they get home…to you.
That should be the first clue as to why men enjoy their guy time so much… But we will get to that soon…
Here is a fact… men do not have to sensor themselves when they are with other men. It is scientifically proven that when a female presence enters a group of men, the men change their behavior. It is a man’s natural instinct to impress and “win over” a woman, no matter if she is attractive or not.
Take that fact into consideration and it is safe to make the assumption that men, when with their friends, are at their most genuine in themselves. They are at ease. And here is why…
Men do not judge other men.
Don’t try to change them.
Don’t criticize them.
They will ignore each other’s sins. Without ever once questioning them or playing the moral police. Men can sit in silence, without an ounce of discomfort. If a man wants to talk about his crappy day, they will listen. If he doesn’t, they will not force it out of him. They cover for each other, they protect each other and at the end of the day there are no guilt trips, manipulations or expectations…
I don’t know about you, but sounds like heaven to me!
Why is it we women get so bent out of shape with the whole guy friend thing? Well, as with everything there are of course layers of reasoning. But the root of all that reasoning goes back to one thing…
INSECURITY.
Told you at the beginning to stop reading ladies… Here is another warning because I am about to love you ladies, in a very tough way…
We get so worked up over the guy friend issue because deep down inside it triggers something in us that makes us feel unwanted, not needed and as if we are failing to, in some way, meet a need.
Period.
It pushes an insecurity button in us and most women choose to project that insecurity onto their men by somehow making it wrong for their man to want to be with his friends and have guy time. Actually, it is very cunning and manipulative on our part… But we do it despite ourselves.
Ladies, if you are finding your man is more and more increasingly wanting to spend time with his friends, you need not point the finger at him. Take a healthy examination of your relationship, your reactions and how you have been treating him as of late and I guarantee you will understand why…
You want to know why men enjoy being with other guys so much? Because they can actually be themselves. Not the person they are expected to be… They get to lay down the face and the persona they put on everyday simply to please you, the one they love… It is sad. And it really, really frustrates me that women place themselves in a position of extreme probable disappointment while they place their men walking on a tight rope at any moment bound to fall from their circus act.
Ladies, here is a suggestion. Allow yourself the respect of honoring this in your man. For once, embrace his friendships and his guy time. See it is strength to your relationship rather than a threat. Be happy because it makes your man happy.
I guarantee you will see a new side to the whole boy’s night out thing….
And ladies, I say again, everything I have pointed out here, I have seen in myself first…
Men and women, feel free to tell me if you agree or disagree…